Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Sexual Double Standard: An Alternative Vision




Sex-positive feminist blogger Greta Christina has an excellent blog post where she gives us her vision of a more enlightened approach to human sexuality.

We all know that there is a certain level of intolerance towards certain types of sexuality, from some people preaching against pre-marital sex/fornication, to homophobia, to some people championing male libertines while scolding female ones.

In Christina’s ideal world, sexual preferences and lifestyles would have the same public perception as musical tastes and habits.  People may not appreciate your taste in music or the degree of your passion for it , “but as long as people aren't forcing their music on us, we accept -- even if grudgingly -- their basic right to listen to whatever music they like.

And to whatever degree they like, regardless of gender:

“We understand that some people care about music so much that they make it a central aspect of their lives: collecting music, reading about music, writing about music, playing music, watching musical performances, seeing music as a central source of inspiration and consolation in their lives, forming friendships and relationships with other people that are focused on music... even, perhaps, making a living at it. And we understand that for some people, music is just not that big a deal: they enjoy it, but they don't go out of their way to make a big place for it in their lives.”

Christina correctly points out that some conflate sex with morality, when in actuality, morality is about how you treat people.  So as far as she’s concerned she wishes for people “to see their gross-outs as an aesthetic judgment and not a moral one.”
Like Christina acknowledges, the analogy isn’t perfect.  I have been hassled for listening to rock and not liking R&B, in other words, for not being in a black box.  But the analogy can be applied to many other facets of life, from sports to religions.  Imagine if sexuality was like religion, viewed as sacred in its rituals and almost beyond reproach!

All in all, both Christina and I would  “like for… friends and support systems and society in general to see [everyone’s] tastes and desires as equally valid and important.”